it's been a while...

Three weeks ago...

with my graduation robe, hood and hat on, I finally ended my college years.  With a gleeful heart, I marched on the stage to receive the diploma (a fake one, not the real diploma) and a medal.  Nope, I didn't receive any latin honor (dahil nagloko ako nung 3rd year college), but I am grateful because right at the very end of my college life, my over-all effort was acknowledged. I am aware that some people have been very skeptical about me receiving the Engineering and Architecture Division Award, nevertheless I am still thankful for those people who believed in me.  I thank the Ateneo for being my second home for the past twelve years. I thank my teachers - those who still know and remember me and those who don't - for instilling to me the theories I needed to learn from my field and for sharing to me their experiences to which I get the lessons I needed to learn from life. I thank my friends for the company, because I couldn't have survived college alone.  I thank my family for their endless support and unconditional love. Above all, I thank the Lord for everything.

Two weeks ago...

I went to the graduation parties of my friends. Aside from the food, I really enjoyed these parties because I got to be with my friends . The talks have been a whole lot different because the stress from all the school works was gone.  Pure joy, pure happiness surrounded the air as we talked about our future plans, as we reminisced some of the memories we've had in college.

On the not so good moment of the week, my family and I underwent several medical check ups.  On my part, my ob-gyne told me that the complication I have (which was discovered a year ago) will stay with me for life.  But she reassured me that I could still have babies with the help of medicine.  From my urinalysis, I was diagnosed of UTI, so the doctor prescribed antibiotics.  For my cough and colds, I had to take some medicines, but they didn't really help because I'm still sick (maybe because of my EK adventure which I will share later).  I had to take four kinds of medicines everyday for a week. Wow! I felt like a very old woman who has too many complications.  To end this, my family received a bad news regarding our loved one's findings.  This I still have to keep a secret, but really, I am affected.

A week ago...

my family hosted a thanksgiving party.  It was actually a family reunion, but my mom allowed me and my sister to invite guests.  The party was held at a beach resort, with too many people enjoying the place. My guests thought that the whole place was reserved for us and was shocked when they got there because there were too many people. Nevertheless, I am thankful for those who really went to the party. Our family rarely hosts a party and I am not a good host, but I really thank my guests for coming. I really had fun. :)

A day after the thanksgiving, my mom, my sister and I flew to Manila to spend a week with my brother (who was not able to go home to attend my sister's and my graduation because he wasn't done with school work).  My aunt (the oldest sister of my mother, eldest of the 10, my mom the 9th child and the youngest girl in the bunch), her daughter (my cousin) and my two nephews (sons of my cousin) went with us to spend the week (holy week to be exact) with us.  Monday, we stayed in Manila.  We went to MOA.  We (my sister and I) were left there because my mom and my brother had to go to DFA.  I met up with my best friend, Nathelle, and spent some quality time with her while strolling around the very big mall. Nilibre niya ako sa Starbucks, my first Starbucks ever.  We talked and talked, and after almost four hours of being together, we felt that it wasn't enough. Oh well, I guess we really had a lot of things to talk about after 10 months of not seeing each other.  

The following days of the vacation were spent in Laguna.  We stayed in UP Los Banos, specifically in CEC (I guess this is a Korean Center in the campus).  On Tuesday, we spent half of the day looking for a new dorm for my brother and for my future dorm.  But before that, we went to the Engineering Department to inquire about the review.  I felt a spark of confidence after the inquiry and after I've finally found my room. I hope this confidence will not die out just before I start reviewing for the board.

We went to Sta. Rosa, Laguna on Wednesday to go to Enchanted Kingdom. Yeah! I screamed at the top of my lungs as I enjoyed the Anchors Away Ride. I got wet after riding the Log Jam and Rio Grande Rapids (which I think caused the worsening of my cough and colds because I wasn't able to bring extra clothes).  I equally enjoyed the other rides.  I wasn't able to ride the Space Shuttle, Flying Fiesta and Bump n' Splash because I wore the wrong outfit (because I only got the bohemian skirt to put on for that day, my other clothes were still wet). I hated the Swan Lake because our swan was very difficult to maneuver. Nevertheless, I really enjoyed the day.

I just stayed in CEC on Thursday to rest.  On Friday, my brother toured us around the UP Los Banos Campus.  We were not really able to tour the whole campus but I was already happy with what I saw.  I felt that I will be able to adjust quickly in that kind of environment, very peaceful and conducive for studying.  We dropped by a 7-11 store inside the campus and I had my first ever slurpee there. :) Just before we went back to CEC, we stopped over the freedom park and sat under the famous fertility tree. 

Saturday morning, we bought some stuff from the two malls of LB for my brother's room as well as mine.  We first went to Olivares, the only mall with a movie house in LB. My brother and sister went to my brother's dorm first, leaving me and my mother to search for stores that sell foams and appliances that we need.  After the very long walk, I experienced a very terrible headache which forced me to take a nap during our travel from Laguna back to Manila. Saturday night, we went to Gateway, ate our dinner there and bought some stuff for my sister.  Since we have no internet access the whole week, we decided to go to a nearby internet cafe together.

On Easter Sunday, we went back to MOA.  We ate lunch together at Sbarro (which really serves delicious food).  After lunch, my mother and brother took us to NAIA 2 because my sister and I had to go back to Davao.  Our flight was delayed for an hour, so instead of waiting for two hours, we waited for three hours (I now believe that the PAL acronym really means Plane Always Late).  Thirty minutes just before we reached Davao, How I Met Your Mother was played in the airplane. Though I watched it in mute mode, I felt happy because I missed watching HIMYM (kababawan talaga). 

Now...

I'm here in Davao.  I will be spending my last two months of being a total bum.  But I guess this is the perfect time for me to think things over, to settle issues, to finally throw away unnecessary thoughts and feelings.

I am facing a lot of challenges, and now, they're real life challenges.  Being the eldest, I am obliging myself to help my siblings finish school.  My mother's getting old, she only has two years till her non-working age. By then, my siblings aren't finished yet. I've got to find a good paying job, that's why I am going to do my best in the board exam.

My mom has just left for work an hour ago.  I will not be seeing her again for another 8 months or so. I will miss her terribly, much more than I have missed her before, maybe because I am going through a phase in my life right now and I need her so badly to assure me that I'll be ok.

Right now, I am suffering over residual feelings that should have been gone right now because it has been four months since the break up.  I am tired already, so tired that's why I'm letting things be. I will not be exerting any effort to move on, because my heart's too tired.  I cried again yesterday, because I know I have reached the dead-end. Pain, I have to experience it at its fullest.

I need to find a summer job. I'm broke. I want to buy more clothes. I want to save some money for the review. Sigh.

I know I'm gonna miss being a student. But to end with a happy note, I know that the journey of my life has just begun. More surprises, more achievements, more happiness. Go go go life! Go go go Laine! :)

(some of the pictures are from James Pascual, Dyan/Ria Lumapas and Pael Cacayan, from their facebook accounts)